Visitation schedules and parenting plans were created for the benefit of children. Many parents seem to forget that. A child has a natural right to spend time with both parents. The parent's divorce or separation should affect that right as little as possible.
When working on your parenting and visitation agreement, you must consider each child's individual needs. All children have some similar basic needs: food, shelter, clothing and education, just to mention a few. However, as children grow, their needs change. The needs of a 6 month old infant are totally different than those of a 5 year old or a 13 year old kid. When working on your parenting and visitation agreement, you must consider each child's individual needs.
Grow Calendar 2011
As a result of your divorce or separation, your children have already gone through a lot of changes. Changes in general, as you well know, can be very challenging for anyone, most especially for kids. When planning a visitation calendar you should try to maintain your children's basic routine. The fewer changes your children have to undergo, the safer and therefore more confident they will feel. School, soccer, karate, swimming, and ballet classes should be continued and incorporated to your parenting agreement. Their extracurricular activities should remain the same, if at all possible.
Each child experiences a different developmental and emotional stage, depending on their age. The older kids are, the more you should take into account their preferences. When working on your parenting and visitation schedule you should consider your older kids' needs first. Younger kids tend to adapt to changes easier.
Teenagers are already going through enough changes as a result of their identification and personality development. Teenagers can become fearful, shy, isolated, anxious or depressed, as they go through this phase of life. They can exhibit behavioral problems, mood swings and anger issues that can be aggravated by an unwanted or unsolicited visitation schedule. Any visitation calendar should be made with your kid's needs in mind first. Everything else, must be considered in terms of how is it going to benefit or affect the children's current schedule. Of course, the parents' working schedule, job and home locations will have to be considered, as well.
Once you have come with a fair and convenient parenting and visitation plan, you should keep it for as much time possible. You must be aware however, that the schedule is going to go through many changes as your children grow. Be aware of your children's moods and reaction during each transitional age. If you notice a problematic or a drastic change in behavior, it might be because it is time for a change in the visitation schedule. There are many times when teenagers prefer to go to a baseball game with their friends rather than visiting a parent. Do not take it personally. Remember, custody and visitation schedules are not about you, they are about your kids.
If you're thinking about changing your parenting and visitation plan, the best practice is to listen to your children's opinion before you move to request the change.
Custody Agreements - Changing Your Parenting Plan As Your Children Grow Grow Calendar 2011